Thursday, March 11, 2010

My fiancee gets upset because I won't let her wear a two piece bathing suit at the pool and beach.?

This whole thing goes in cycles, I tell her not to wear one then she asks why and then I tell her, she 'sulks' and then things are quiet for a while until we go to the pool the next time or she sees a bathing suit in an ad or something that she likes. I just think its too immodest and that she is my girl and I don't want other guys staring at her. She needs to respect my decision and if I change it I will let her know and she needs to just stop bringing the issue up. I just feel if she brings it up again I'm going to yell at her next time. What should I do when she will?... and I know she will bring it up againMy fiancee gets upset because I won't let her wear a two piece bathing suit at the pool and beach.?
You won't let her? LOL That is funny. How many thing does she not LET you do?You are overstepping yourself. She is her own person and if she can make the decision about marriage she is old enough to make the decision on what swim suit she prefers.





If you keep on with not allowing her to choose for herself she might get tired of it and decide to replace you with a less jealous guy.My fiancee gets upset because I won't let her wear a two piece bathing suit at the pool and beach.?
I think that she should be able to wear whatever she'd like. You should feel proud that you have a woman that is confident enough to wear a two piece for some women that is a big deal. And also maybe feel a little good about the fact that she can turn heads. I think your real problem here is trusting your fiancee to be faithful to you and you obviously don't. I'd ask myself if this issue is worth your relationship. Personally I think your being a little childish. Let her be who she is!
Who are you to tell her what to wear. What are you going to tell her to do next? Why don't you stop controlling her or at least tryig to. If you think that a two piece bathing suit is immodest, then find a woman that shares your prudish views and marry her. You are in line to be her husband, not her daddy or her keeper.





Only she has the right to decide what is appropriate for her to wear. Not you!
You guys are obviously unequally yoked, she is who she is you have to either accept her as she is or move on to deeper waters. She is showing you even before marriage that she is not willing to adhere to your request or even settle for a compromise. This is recipe for disaster, it won't get better in a marriage, the girl likes to strut her stuff she is not your type of cover it up woman get the picture
Why not just make her wear a burqa like they do in Afghanistan?





ooooooooh, you're going to YELL at her. What's next- grounding her, taking the car keys, cutting up her credit cards?





';She needs to respect my decision and if I change it I will let her know and she needs to just stop bringing the issue up.';





You need to respect her individuality. What should you do when she brings it up again?





Get over it and stop acting like a b*tch-a.ss control freak.
You don't have the right to dictate what she wheres. If she chooses to wear a two piece on the beach then that his her choice and you should respect that. What age are you actually living in? Women got the vote a long long time ago darling. I do feel for your poor wife however eternally grateful now that my other half does not have your male chauvinistic views!
well you should really let her show off whats she got. and you shouldn't get up set when other men look at her you should be proud


that you have something for other men to droll over. at least she is


great to look at and not some one that when she walks by the person


says oh shi- so just be proud you have something that really looks great.
It is her decision what to wear, you do not own her and have no right to tell her what to wear. She is an adult and should be able to make up her own mind. Guys will look at her regardless of what she is wearing, what you going to do? Make her wear a suit of armour?
I don't get the point why people here are berating you for not being happy with her wanting to go indecent.


Its not control, people, its decency.


I know you would have different opinions if a man was putting on sth stupid and his woman wouldn't let him.


I would definately respect it if my wife stopped me putting on sth that clearly can be indecent.
I think you should stop trying to control her and let her use her own mind to dress herself, your insecurity not her problem


I never let a man tell me what to wear and honestly if he tried I wear it anyway and if he did not like it then as hard as that be i have to let him go
Well , guess we know who the boss is ! Isn't marriage supposed to be about compromise? Oh BTW... if your fiance is hot , men will look at her whether she wears a one piece or a two piece. You really should take it as a compliment and get over it. Or are you a control freak who needs to keep his lady subjugated?
What should you do? Seek counseling; it's not normal to be this controlling over someone else. This has nothing to do with what she wears; you have issues, possibly insecurity? And it appears that I'm not the only one who thinks so. For your own good, get help. And I'm not being mean, I'm being serious because this can lead to more abuse. This is the first part of abuse by the way.
Man women are use to being looked at naked. If she wants a sun tan then limit her with a knoweledge base that skin cancer is real and she should atleast wear a hat. Then she will look like someone else anyway ; and that is better than switching hands to do an oil change on the car.
Really? But if she wants him to stop looking at porn, he /doesn't/ get the chutzpah to say no, I'm an adult? Yet it's OK for her to parade around herself even if it bothers him?





Pretty self-centered double-standard.
Don't be so foolish!!!! It is just a bikini !!! Who cares if guys look at her anyway,you should be proud if they do.





And if you keep yelling at her for wearing a bikini, she will get sick of you really fast and leave you. Trust me.
Sorry, the only way she'll see the light is if you go find a skimpy 2 piece (thongs work well) and wear it yourself at the pool for several days. That should do the trick.


LOL





PS - Don't forget your cabana hat.
You don't have the right (and really should have the desire) to say what another adult can or cannot wear. You need to respect her as a separate human being apart from your own insecurities.
Well I can see you want to protect her, but as long as it isnt distasteful then I do not see a issue. But if she knows it bothers you and still does it then you have the issue of disrespect.
Just say ______(her name) I have spoken do not ask me again and I mean it. If you ask again I will punish you. Remember spare the rod spoil the brod.
its somthing normal in america and nobody wears a one piece anymore. its somthing you need to get over.
she should leave your controlling *** and go naked having sex with whomever she wants. You should get the ring back also.
Are you for real? Seriously?
Tell her if she asks again you will spank her!
you = couldn't buy a ';fiance'; in an amsterdam whorehouse with a dump truck full of $100's
It's a f*****g bathing suit, who the hell gives a ****? Everybody wears them. All you people and your silly drama. Than I suggest you wear a t shirt when you go to the beach or pool. I don't think she would want other woman staring at you either. Guys are gonna stare regardless if she is wearing a one or two piece. Guys stare even if the woman is fully dressed. You can't stop it and she doesn't have to liston to you. Actually she should leave your insecure, controlling @ss.
Do you beat your gf? Controlling a woman by telling her what to wear, having a sense of ownership (';she is my girl';), being jealous (not wanting ';other guys staring at her';), and dictating to her (';she needs to respect my decision and if I change it, I will let her know';) are all signs of an abuser. You already stated that you are ';going to yell at her next time.'; That puts you half a step away from backhanding her in the face.





Grow up and deal with your insecurities by seeing a counselor. Stop telling your gf what to do.
She should feel free to bring it up, and to wear what she pleases. It is not your responsibility to tell her what to wear or how to be seen in public. If you are dissatisfied with her choices, perhaps you should consider why you feel it is your place to manipulate her. Criticizing her and choosing to believe you are the only person whose opinion matters does not bode well for your relationship. Let her wear what she wants. If you find fault with it, date someone who doesn't mind you being their caretaker.
She needs to not marry you and move on to a guy who is not so controlling.





You are just not the kind of guy who will make a woman a good husband and probably not a very good father either.





Marriage is not just about what you want - but it's two people working together. You don't seem to be the type who can do that.





It would be better for her to dump you now than deal with a divorce later because eventually she will see what a mistake you are and she will leave you.
you're right, guys will stare, and lust, we all know that, why should she parade herself around like that, she should respect your opinion.


but yelling doesn't help, just tell her graffically how guys think. they don't simply ''admire''.
Have you tried hitting her?

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